Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Fun - and, if you have a dark sense of humor, funny - mashups of historical and literary characters with zombies and vampires.
I was in the dollar store a few years ago and saw a bin of another book by the same author - Unholy Night. I recognized Seth Grahame-Smith, and the title was intriguing. I flipped it over to read the back and the premise had me hooked - what if the Wise Men were not simple pilgrims, come to worship and give gifts, and then to disappear from whence they came? What if instead they took umbrage - ultimate umbrage - with Herrod's slaughter of the innocents, of his attempt to find and kill the baby Jesus?
And it was only a dollar! Um, yes, please. (And, as it turns out, it was not priced so low because it hadn't sold, but rather because this bin was full of misprinted copies - on one page Balthasar's name appears as Ba!tha%a*, or or something like that.)
Mostly Spoiler-free review:
First, as you might guess from an author whose other books are about genteel historical and literary figures messily fighting evil creatures, be aware that if you're not up for some heavy doses of gore, this book is definitely not for you. In fact, I might go so far as to say that the violence and gore in this book is even more distubing because it's happening to normal people who more often than not are either just trying to do their jobs, or, even more terrifying, are innocents who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The book opens with Balthasar, not a king, not a scholar, but a thief, evading persuit by Roman troops. After being captured and thrown in prison, he and his cellmates escape by disguising themselves as priests. The three "priests," traveling out of the Roman province of Judea encounter a couple with a newborn, hidden in a stable.
The couple is hiding for good reason - only briefly after their encounter with the traveling "magi," Herrod's troops enter the town, rousting all children under the age of two. Balthasar witnesses a mother with an infant run down by a soldier, and the child is killed in the street. Even this thief cannot comprehend the terrible act he has just witnessed - and he snaps. He rides down the soldier and kills him.
Other soldiers fill the town, other wails of dying babies and weeping mothers fill the air. Another soldier chases a young boy carrying his infant brother - but Balthasar chases him. Melchior and Gaspar join the fray. Soon the entire troop of soldiers is dead. Many infants are also dead... but many more have been saved, including a very special one.
Now the "magi" and the young family they encountered in the stable must flee in earnest. On the way they encounter various dangers - dehydration, angry mobs, locusts (yes, really), and burning buildings - before before being captured by joint forces of Herrod and a young, up-and-coming Roman officer named Pontius Pilate (Yes. Really.) who everyone says will go far.
And, as you can guess, since Easter occurs some 30-odd years later, the baby survives. But it's the *how*, the reactions of the characters with him, the string of coincidences and oddly timed good luck, that makes the story intersting and gripping. Reading this book you think that it is not so much the circumstances of the Mary's* pregnancy and Jesus's birth that are miraculous - rather the miracle is that he survived his first few weeks at all.
*Mary, incidentally, is a fantastically feisty 15-year old. Say what you will about her, believe she is delusional if you must, but bad-mouth her husband and she will give you what-for!
#Spoilers Below#
I love the whole "historical in joke" - when historical characters meet up in unexpected ways. It's hard to do well, without coming off as either cheesey or a forced coincidence.
Grahame-Smith does well at using a young Pilate as a secondary antagonist. He's 20 (so, young enough that him still being alive in 33 years, while also being old enough now to be a competent officer is not unlikely), with a strong eye on his career. He aspires to be a high-ranking official - maybe even a governor - which is why he goes along with the emperor's orders to humor Herrod in his search to eliminate this prophesied baby. But when they finally do catch the family and those aiding him, when it becomes clear that Herrod has gone off the deep end, Pilate decides to defy his orders.
Enough is enough, and this isn't right - Piate sets the prisoners free with the warning that for the sake of his own life he must pursue them shortly. But the head start - and a little divine intervention - are enough that the group is safely away before persuing soldiers follow. The soldier and the thief have a moment of understanding and respect - these are two men trying to make their way, trying to survive - and they both understand that you draw the line at killing babies (even though they both also understand now that this is not just any baby).
It's also hard to pull off a deus ex machina. This book is full of them - but they're well done and justified. And given that we mostly see Balthasar's reaction to them (rather than being told through the eyes of the already-believing Mary and Joseph), they seem more real.
Three fleeing swordsmen just happen to show up in time to protect they baby? Meh, I was just passing through.
A perfectly straight stream of perfectly clear water just happens to cross their path in the dessert right as they begin to fear the baby and nursing mother might die? Well, that's odd, but we're glad it was there. (A 15 year old with no lactation specialist has no trouble breastfeeding her newborn as they flee across the dessert? That might be the biggest miracle in the book...)
But when an angry mob of pilgrims attacks the Roman soldiers for violating the sancticy of their holy site, when a swarm of locusts descends on the persuing soldiers... but doesn't harm the fleeing family? It's more than Balthasar can accept as coincidence - especially as the baby SMIRKS while the locusts attack the soldiers. (And, honestly, this serves as a reminder that this incarnation is where the vindictive Old Testament God meets the humble and loving New Testament man.)
Reading this novel with a new baby (I read it last fall; Elianna would have been just a few months old) the horror of so many things that could happen to such a delicate and vulnerable child was very, very real. Don't get me wrong - I really enjoyed the book. But reading it as a new mother gave me a very different perspective, and made me very thankful that I live in a place and time where my baby is relatively safe.