(Since this is a very long post, I’ve done some cutaways below. Click on the bold wording to open or close.)
My mom (who is 72, twice a mother, and twice a grandmother) came over the day that I checked out It’s Not the Stork from the library. It’s a large, colorful picture book.
“Oh, another book for Elianna?” she asked. (Elianna* is my two-year-old daughter.)
“No, not yet,” I responded. I told her about this project – that I was working on a blog about “inappropriate” potty training and kids’ sex education books. I flipped through the book and pointed out a cartoon drawing of a boy and a girl standing side by side, naked, various parts of their anatomy pointed out and labeled.
“This is why it’s banned,” I said. She rolled her eyes.
(*Addendum, while potty training, my husband and I decided to show Elianna a couple illustrations from the book to show her the difference between what naked boys and naked girls look like.)
A few weeks prior, as I prepared my afore-mentioned two-year-old to begin potty training, we had checked out a book called “Once Upon a Potty.” The little girl in the book stands naked at one point while her mother points out that the little girl has “a pee-pee for making wee-wee.” My mom didn’t bat an eye when she came over and read the book to Elianna.
I’ve said it in posts before, usually in the context of bare butts for comedic purposes – nudity (no matter how minor or silly) is a really quick way to land your book on the Banned Books List.
My husband listens to a podcast called Is We Dumb? In one consistently amusing segment of the show, they go through and read one-star reviews on Amazon. This inspired me to do this with a few banned books.
I honestly expected “Once Upon a Potty” to be on a banned list somewhere, due to the nudity, and was surprised to find that it’s not. Still, for sake of comparison across age ranges, I thought I would do a one-star review survey of it, as well as It’s Not the Stork! and It’s Perfectly Normal!
(Also, I will be quoting the reviews without correcting for grammar or spelling, which makes me cringe, but sometimes that makes the review funnier.)
Once Upon a Potty – Boy
Vital Statistics:
For potty-training-aged children (so, approximately two-three year olds)
5% 1-star reviews
"Caution shows a cartoon bum hole.” Title of a Four-Star Review
“The drawings are antomically correct and uses baby words to describe male genitals. They also felt the need to show a details drawing of the boys bottom when he bends over. There is no way I'm reading thia book to me kid, it feels just plan wrong.”
“This book is WAY too graphic for a child's book! I had to draw underwear w a sharpie on the little boy on several pages.”
“The illustrations are at best unattractive and at worst completely crass. I initiated a refund after getting to page two where little Joshua is bent over, staring at you between his legs with three "eyes".
Admittedly, some one-star reviews were for the cutesie names rather anatomically proper ones, which brings us to…
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Once Upon a Potty - Girl
Vital statistics:
Also for potty-training aged children
3% one-star reviews
For the girl’s version of the book, there was a lower percentage of 1-star reviews and they were less vehement. Most of them were complaining about the terms being cute rather than anatomical, but there were a couple who said things like:
“I found this book to be inappropriate. Just be warned that there are pictures of little girl parts. Does there really need to be a pic of her showing us her poo hole?”
It’s Not the Stork!
Vital Statistics:
For 4 and up
2% one-star reviews
Interestingly enough, most of the one-star reviews don’t go into as much detail as either of the other books mentioned here. Some were bothered by the amount of detail and thought it was inappropriate for four-year-olds; others were bothered that there was not more LGBTQ+ inclusion. Myself, I would argue that a book for late preschool and early elementary children specifically meant to be about pregnancy doesn’t need in-depth info on the spectrum of sexualities. There is a brief mention at the end of the book that there are all kind of families, including families with two dads or two moms.
Really, this one is the only negative review worth quoting:
“Not for children under 10-12 Very inappropriate for small children. Showed the difference between an uncircumcised penis and circumcised, with photos. I thought I saw this was rated 4 and up.” Not photos. Cartoony drawings. It aggravates me when people’s reviews are either inaccurate to the product, such as this one, or in the case of “Once Upon a Potty – Girl” where people, annoyed at the euphemisms for body parts, said that the word “vagina” and “urine” should be used instead of “pee-pee” and “wee-wee” – except that the vagina is NOT where urine comes out. (Hmm, maybe that’s why we shouldn’t be banning books on anatomy…?)
Oddly enough, there was a glowing one-star review by a self-described “conservative Christian” sexual abuse prevention specialist. She praised the book for being just enough, and rated it one-star because “more people read the one star reviews.” Good job, ma’am – way to be genre savvy.
Additionally, while I don’t know if I would say that this passage is appropriate for the youngest kids, I think it was a great way of explaining how babies are made without going into a lot of detail: “When grownups want to make a baby, most often a woman and a man have a special kind of loving called ‘making love’—‘having sex’—or ‘sex.’ This kind of loving happens when the woman and the man get so close to each other that the man’s penis goes inside the woman’s vagina.
Children are much too young to do the special kind of loving—called ‘sex’—that grownups do.”
This passage is accompanied by two pictures: -a man and a woman in a bed, covered by a blanket except for faces, arms, and feet, smiling at each other while little hearts float around their heads. -the bird and bee cartoon characters that provide commentary on most pages making faces and stating “Whew! I’m glad I’m too young for that!”
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It’s Perfectly Normal!
Vital Statistics:
Rated 10 and up
28% One-star reviews
“It’s Perfectly Normal has been a trusted resource on sexuality for more than twenty-five years.” – From Amazon description
"Porn total porn and grooming of child for sexual assult. Engire book groom tool for pedifiles. No one should be exposed to this book.” Posted, ironically, by a user calling themselves “Sassy”
"Teachers teach your kid to whack off."
“When it’s time for the “talk”, give your kid an experience like “Passport to Purity” rather than this disgusting book bent on grooming your child into a suicidal victim of today’s degenerate culture.”
“This book is nothing more than a way to groom your children. I can’t believe some schools are teaching from this book for sex Ed! Time to Homeschool! If I could I would have given zero stars!! 🤬Absolutely sucking!” More ironic word choice.
“ Call the cops if this is given to your kids
….make sure your child's school doesn't have this in their library.”
This one – the call to make sure it’s not at the library – is advocating the banning of a book, for those of you keeping track at home.
A lot of these reviews talk about leftist agenda, a “confused generation,” and CRT (critical race theory – I have no idea what that has to do with late elementary, middle or high school sex ed). One review quoted three different Bible passages, in addition to suggesting the audience read the entirety of the Book of Romans.
I totally get it if you think your 10 year old is not ready for this book – or, not for the whole thing, as might be the case for a young child and It’s Not the Stork. But that doesn’t mean that 1. It’s a terrible book that deserves a 1-star review and 2. That NO ONE should read it.
Also, having checked out and perused the book myself, I personally see no issues with it. My husband and I discussed whether it was appropriate for a 10-year-old. Myself, I erred on the side of “maybe not,” but I also allowed that if a child is asking about how sex works, what “gay” means, what any number of slang terms for sex or masturbation are, that they deserve an age-appropriate answer.
I am most certainly not saying that you should chuck this book at your kid (especially a younger kid) without explanation or discussion. But, honestly, how would you rather your child find out about sex? Look through a child-geared illustrated book with you or a teacher or other trusted adult guiding them, or to rely on locker room jokes and internet porn to find out about sex and sexuality?
And, as with It’s Not the Stork, It’s Perfectly Normal doesn’t suggest you just jump in bed willy-nilly. It has a page with a line of illustrations of new or expectant parents each saying why they thought they wouldn’t or couldn’t get pregnant, but did anyway. It encourages safe sex and discusses pregnancy and STD’s. I’d rather have my daughter know about these things a little earlier than I might think is appropriate than have her stumble into a situation where she doesn’t understand what’s happening and get hurt, get an STD, get pregnant, get raped, etc. (More on that idea when I discuss Speak in a day or two.)
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I totally get it if you think your 10 year old is not ready for this book – or, not for the whole thing, as might be the case for a young child and It’s Not the Stork. But that doesn’t mean that 1. It’s a terrible book that deserves a 1-star review and 2. That NO ONE should read it.
Also, having checked out and perused the book myself, I personally see no issues with it. My husband and I discussed whether it was appropriate for a 10-year-old. Myself, I erred on the side of “maybe not,” but I also allowed that if a child is asking about how sex works, what “gay” means, what any number of slang terms for sex or masturbation are, that they deserve an age-appropriate answer.
I am most certainly not saying that you should chuck this book at your kid (especially a younger kid) without explanation or discussion. But, honestly, how would you rather your child find out about sex? Look through a child-geared illustrated book with you or a teacher or other trusted adult guiding them, or to rely on locker room jokes and internet porn to find out about sex and sexuality?
And, as with It’s Not the Stork, It’s Perfectly Normal doesn’t suggest you just jump in bed willy-nilly. It has a page with a line of illustrations of new or expectant parents each saying why they thought they wouldn’t or couldn’t get pregnant, but did anyway. It encourages safe sex and discusses pregnancy and STD’s. I’d rather have my daughter know about these things a little earlier than I might think is appropriate than have her stumble into a situation where she doesn’t understand what’s happening and get hurt, get an STD, get pregnant, get raped, etc. (More on that idea when I discuss Speak in a day or two.)
Back to discussing all of these books as a whole: many reviews, especially for It’s Perfectly Normal included statements such as, “I heard about this, so I bought it.” Why? There’s a thing called a library.
Seriously, though. If you are concerned about a book your child’s school is using or you’re hearing about a book that other parents think is inappropriate, check it out. Read it for yourself. If you don’t like it, don’t give it to your child. If it’s assigned reading, talk to your child’s teacher. Calmly. Ask if your child can read an alternate text – and have a pertinent alternative in mind. Or, if that isn’t possible, talk to your child about BOTH your thoughts and their thoughts on the book. I’ve read an AWFUL lot of books as a kid that I then re-read as an adult and realize I REALLY didn’t catch on to some things. You may be reading and understanding an implied thought at an adult level that goes completely over your child’s head.