With all respect to the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire, when it comes to book banning, it's usually the kids who don't understand.
I first observed Banned Books Week while working in the children's department of the public library. I was surprised to find Julie of the Wolves, The Summer of My German Soldier, and other books I remembered reading in late elementary and early middle school were on various banned and challenged lists for having sexual situations or being "sexually explicit." *insert confused head tilt* Really? I didn't remember anything like that...
Around that time, there was a big to-do in one of the local school systems about Z for Zachariah, claiming there was sexual assault in it. *confused head tilt again* My mom was appalled - she remembered me reading that book and asked me if it bothered me. Um... no. Well, the alleged assault didn't bother me. I didn't remember anything about a sexual assault. I remembered that the main character - a teenage girl who assumes she's the only survivor of a nuclear war until an adult male scientist? government official? shows up. At first he works with her, but later they have a physical altercation as he tries to take her away from her camp when he leaves. Was it sexual? If it was, it went WAY over my head. What upset me? The dog died.
Likewise, Julie of the Wolves - I remembered 13-year-old Julie having an argument with her fellow-teen husband (of an arranged and, at the moment, platonic marriage). His friends were teasing him because he couldn't "mate his wife." He forcibly tried to kiss her, she kicked him, they tussled, but he left declaring, "tomorrow! I can!" As as 5th grader, I had a vague idea of what mating meant and understood that he was going to try again, but to me it was "Daniel is being a jerk," not "Julie narrowly avoided getting raped." Again, what upset me more? The dog died (well, wolf in this case).
With Summer of My German Soldier, I didn't even remember there being ANYTHING physical between the main character and the titular character, romantic, violent, or otherwise. I remembered she helped hide him (a teenage German POW during WWII) after he escaped from prison, before she was subsequently arrested and tried for treason. Either on her way to trial or on her way to juvenile detention, someone spits in her hair. That is the scene I remember the most clearly, and the one that was the most bothersome to me.
Again, a lot of this comes down to 1. trusting your child and 2. being involved with your child. Should your 5th grader be reading 50 Shades of Grey? Of course not. Should your 5th grader be reading Old Yeller, The Yearling, Julie of the Wolves, or other books where "the dog dies?" Well, I mean, kids are going to read things that upset them, see things that upset them. We can't shelter them forever, as much as we want to. But, yes, as the parent of a 5th grader, I would definitely be more concerned about the dog dying than vague references to sexual situations.
There's a joke I read once, where two 11-year-old best friends - a boy and a girl - had been spending the night together for years. Now that they were in middle school, though, their parents had started to wonder if maybe that wasn't appropriate any more. Jimmy and his family happened to be over at Susie's house watching a beauty pageant when the kids asked if they could spend the night. The parents hesitated, uncertain. At that moment, the announcer called out the current contestant's measurements - 36, 24, 36. Susie's mom, thinking quickly, said, "Jimmy - do you know what those numbers are?" Jimmy thought for a moment and answered, "96?" He was allowed to spend the night.
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