Back about a month ago, my supervisor called me into her office to discuss an email with me. She started off by saying it wasn't anything I had done wrong, or anything unprofessional, but it was a pet peeve of hers to use the term "ladies" to address a group. It ended up turning into a very interesting discussion.
I explained that I had intended it as a respectful, professional opening to a group of all women, pointing out that I have often done the same - using "Hello, gentlemen," or "good morning, gentlemen" - for the opening of emails to a group of men. I explained that for me "ladies" and "gentlemen" is a term of respect, as opposed to something more informal like "guys" or "y'all." I said something to the effect of "I guess I'm kind of old-fashioned." My supervisor kind of laughed at that. She said that having grown up and gone to college and started work in the 60's and 70's, during a period of time when women's roles were beginning to change drastically, that she had always seen "ladies" as less the older, respectful connotation and more that "lady" implies too delicate to work, while "woman" implies more equality and capability. She thought it was funny that while I was the younger of the two of us, I was thinking of myself as "old fashioned."
I also talked about how, as both a history buff and a reader of fantasy and historical fiction, in my mind, a lady can still be a powerful figure, just as likely to strap on a sword and lead a battle as to do anything else.
I don't know how important it is to mention that in addition to being of my parents' generation, that my supervisor also spent a good portion of her life living further north, specifically in Minnesota. It took her a long time to get used to both students and colleagues addressing her as "ma'am;" apparently in other areas of the country "ma'am" means "old," whereas in the South it is used as a terms of respect for a woman who is your senior either by age or position.
As a writer, I find the generational and regional differences in words, even within the same language to be very fascinating. I have a couple friends who address me as "lady" as a term of endearment. While they are not from the same place, they are from a similar region of the country. I had never been addressed by a friend as "lady" until I met the first of these friends in college, but I do wonder if this is more prominent in other areas of the country, just as some women in other areas will address their female friends as "girl" or "girlfriend."
As many of you reading this know, I'm currently in the process of writing 3 novels; two of these involve young women in positions of power where the term "lady" is used as a part of their title. Given that both of them have a strong historical feel, I'm hoping that using "lady" to indicate nobility and power will not turn off the readers who might be used to using or seeing the term as one to indicate delicacy or weakness.
In closing, I'll leave you with this little tidbit about ladies and gentlemen.
In the 90's film, Blast from the Past, a man born in a bomb shelter during the Cuban Missile Crisis and raised there in isolation by his stereotypically 1950's parents emerges in "present day" California. It's a funny film about his faux pas and culture shock, but it also does have an interesting perspective about how values, society, and language are so malleable, even in a period of 30-some-odd years. The two characters who sort of take him under his wing have the following exchange:
Troy: He thinks I'm a gentleman and you're a lady.
Eve: [disgusted] Well, consider the source! I don't even know what a lady is.
Troy: I know, I mean I thought a "gentleman" was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible.
Eve: Where do you think he got all that information?
Troy: From the oddest place - his parents. I mean, I don't think I got that memo from mine.
And with that, ladies and gentlemen, I bid you good evening.