Writer's Block or Pandemic Fatigue?

Guys, I think I'm having a little bit of an existential crisis about my writing.

I've really been dragging my feet about it the last couple months. The idea of finishing and publishing a novel seems daunting, not inspiring. Looking for places to submit my short stories seems tedious and not worth the effort.

I've been "supposed" to be working on Brinyor since November, but find I keep delaying rereads and editing in favor of making a map I probably won't use, in depth costume research I probably don't need, in depth linguistic name research that I'm probably the only one who cares about it...

I've been "working" on Brinyor for ten years - Wolf and Sheath, and BrightFire for twelve and eleven years, respectively. (I guess I should quit thinking such uncharitable thoughts about George R R Martin, huh?)

Maybe it's the pandemic fatigue talking - here we are almost two years in, and we just had another exposure scare. (I guess I shouldn't complain - I know a lot of people who have had it; I know some people who have had it twice.) I was supposed to be getting back into things, being productive, now that we're through the holidays and Elianna was going back to school (prior to quarantines and lack-luster ice storms).

I just don't feel the drive. Some people get up in the morning and they HAVE to write, like they have to breathe. Most successful authors will tell you "you have to write every day." I'm definitely not doing that right now. People say, "If you REALLY want to do something, you'll FIND the time, you'll MAKE the time." But you know what I'm making time for? Naps. Admittedly, I have never been ambitious about ANYTHING, so maybe this isn't such a big change. But I am starting to wonder if I'm wasting my... time? Time may not even be the right word, since I'm not even spending that much time on it right now.

But if I don't write, if I'm not a writer, what am I?

(It's an open answer, possibly even a rhetorical question, and in no way meant to be a downer. I've just been rolling this all around in my head recently.)

...though Jason is feeling the same way about some of his leisure activities, so it helps to know I'm not the only one.

---

Enjoyed this post? Want to see more content like this? Make sure to follow me on social media!

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter for several small snippets each week.

Or, if you're looking for more professional content (less frequent, but more closely related to writing, publishing, or libraries), connect with me on LinkedIn. (I do ask that if you request a connection on LinkedIn that you mention this blog so that I know how you heard of me.)

What To Do In '22

It's time for my annual update on goals!

First, what my goals were in 2021, and how I did with them (full post on that here.

Because I was trying to be a little less vague about my goals, some of them were more time-specific (do X by the end of January):

-Get back into my writing schedule - Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday mornings.

-check

-Submit either one story to at least three publications, or at least three stories to one publication each by the end of March.

-check

-Resume my weekly blog schedule.

-check

-But within the first couple weeks of the year, examine my current writing schedule and see if I want to move which day I do my blog. (I currently am "supposed" to be posting a blog every weekend, but that hasn't happened in a while.)

-check

-Resume my monthly project/status updates.

-check

-Finish rereading Bright Fire by the end of January.

-If I recall correctly, I did

-By the time I finish the above, decide what work I want to do next on The Wolf and the Sheath.

-I did work on W and S for a while, but I didn't make a lot of progress

Other things I did last year included:

-revamped my platform. This included updating my website's layout and imagery, and adding a Twitter account.

-made nine submissions (which admittedly isn't a lot, but it's something).

-made decent progress on setting relatable, achievable goals and meeting them. I figured out a formula of sorts of how much to increase followings on various platforms by and did pretty well with that.

So what are my goals for 2022? Honestly, I haven't given it a lot of thought. For the moment, I will continue my status quo:

-Continue my regular writing schedule (Monday afternoon, Tuesday and Thursday mornings and evenings, Sunday evenings, and alternating weekends (the last of which I have not been good about).

-Continue my social media posting schedule: Writerly quotes on Mondays, alternating Writing Prompt Wednesday and Throwback Thursday, and posting a new blog at least every-other weekend.

-Make three submissions by the end of January. Whether or not those publications/contests allow for simultaneous submissions will help determine what my next submission goal is.

-Continue to increase my following on various online platforms by approximately 10% each quarter.

-Update and/or swap out material on my website quarterly.

"But what about writing," you ask, "all these goals seem to be platform-oriented." You would be right. I haven't had my head in the writing end of the things the past couple months - even NaNoWriMo was tough for me this year. I haven't really given a lot of thought as to what writing goal to set or how to measure it. I've been working on Brinyor since November, and I'd like to continue that. I did a little bit of research for it, and a little map and costume sketching over the past week or two, so maybe that will give me some fresh inspiration.

In any case, I will definitely make an update post at the end of the month, so maybe I'll update my writing goals at that time.

Enjoyed this post? Want to see more content like this? Make sure to follow me on social media!

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter for several small snippets each week.

Or, if you're looking for more professional content (less frequent, but more closely related to writing, publishing, or libraries), connect with me on LinkedIn. (I do ask that if you request a connection on LinkedIn that you mention this blog so that I know how you heard of me.)

Whataya Know, NaNo?

Wow, December already? November just flew by... which is odd, because SO much happened in November. It seemed like one of us was always sick - sinus infections and COVID boosters for the adults, colds and pinkeye for Elianna. Fun. Add Thanksgiving to that mix and... well, who decided November was a good month for NaNoWriMo, huh?

So, first I'll talk about what I did in November, and then I'll launch into my goals for December and January.

In an attempt to kick myself into gear a bit, I decided to do a modified National Novel Writing Month challenge in November. My goal was not to write a new novel, but rather to try and crank out new material I need to flesh out Brinyor, one of my current novels. My intent was to write every day and, even thought many days I only managed about 20-30 minutes after Elianna had gone to bed in the evening, the first 2.5-3 weeks of the month I did pretty well. But, the week of Thanksgiving, everything kind of fell apart at once. To twist a line from Ian Malcom, "life, uh, gets in the way."

I knew I would be unlikely to write on Thanksgiving itself... but I also wasn't expecting people to get sick, Elianna to take a big step back in night potty training and/or willingness to go to sleep (cold, pinkeye, picking up on our stress? possibly also teething - I mean, that'll do it). She's gotten very defiant about naps as well and, as we speak, is sleeping on the floor on the opposite side of the room from her bed because she likes her play blanket and giant stuffed corgi and, well, Jason and I are tired of fighting with her at 4 AM. Two-year-olds, man.

But, yes, less griping, more progress reports. I managed to write a little over 17,000 words for Brinyor in November, in addition to spending some time working on my platform (including my newly-added Twitter. I even submitted a story to a podcast.

So, on to my December goals, which are... really low-balling it. Honestly, between holiday prep and Elianna being out of school for two weeks, I'm going to cut myself a lot of slack. If I can keep my current writing and social media schedule,* reread what I wrote in November, and start inserting it into the main body of the novel, I'll be happy.

*-Writerly quote of the week, plus business - social media, platform work, submission research - on Monday

-Work on my monthly goal while Elianna is at school on Tuesday

--Writing prompt of the week (alternating weeks) on Wednesday

-Work on my monthly goal while Elianna is at school, and alternating Throwback Thursdays on Thursday.

-Blog each weekend (unless I've done it earlier in the week)

-Alternating weekends to really focus on writing.

In fact, I have so little faith in having time to write this month, that the above goal is actually going to be my January goal, too. More of a six-week goal (because I know I'll be pretty useless the latter half of December) than a monthly goal.

NaNo? Maybe So...

The night is dark... A restless spirit moves through the house... Something calls my name...

"Elizabeeeeeeeeeeth... you know you want to do NaNoWriMoooooooooooo..."

So it's the same debate every year - to NaNo or not to Nano? And I think I will this year. Not the normal National Novel Writing Month - because I need to finish one of the novels I've already got started - but a modified version. A few years ago, I took one of my works in progress and wrote a new scene for it every day for a month, rather than trying to meet a certain word count. That worked pretty well for me - it rejuvenated my interest in the story, and got some new material down. Of course, that was the November before Elianna was born, and the November before Baldur died, so suffice to say I've had a lot going on since then...

But, in any case, I'll be doing that again this year with Brinyor. Fittingly, I started Brinyor for 2011's NaNoWriMo, so it feels right to try and get some fleshing out done to it for its 10th anniversary. (Oh, god, y'all, I've now got three novels I've been working on for ten-plus years...)

However, despite this decision, I'm not going to press myself super hard. I've spent September and October dealing with colds, sinus infections, potty training, and another round of colds and sinus infections. I never did get around to decorating for Halloween, and Thanksgiving and Christmas loom. I'm going to try really hard not to beat myself up if I can't get a scene, snippet, etc. written every day. I mean, the point is to try, yes, but I need to walk the line between making time to try and dreading doing so because I have too many other obligations.

We'll see what happens and, as always, I will have an update for you at the end of the November.

Oh-well-tober

The downside to the timing of Banned Books Week is that since it's always the last week of September (and often a couple days into October), I don't have a good opportunity to post about my October plans and goals in the time frame I normally do. Oh, well.

I've been working on-again off again on updating my platform since March, yet, somehow, it feels like I haven't gotten much done on that. I have fantastic new pictures I need to switch out on all my sites - here, Facebook, and LinkedIn - and somehow have not gotten around to it. I've been dragging my feet on getting a Twitter account up and running.

Additionally, because I've been focusing on the above (have I, though?) I haven't been doing much writing. I have an idea for a cosmic horror short story that's been tickling the back of my brain for a month or two now. I have pieces that are done that I need to be submitting. And, of course there are those three unfinished novels always looking over my shoulder...

In fact, I think what I'd really like to do the next couple months is focus on one of those.

I've been working off and on (very off sometimes) on finishing The Wolf and the Sheath for the last couple years and... while I'm not saying I can't or don't want to work on that one, I also wonder if maybe working on a different one might give me a little freshness and inspiration.

I still don't know what I'm doing with BrightFire. It needs a massive rewrite.

But I do think that I will go back and reread Brinyor. Depending on how it sparks as I reread it, I might do what I did for W and S for NaNoWriMo a couple months ago - go through and make a list of what scenes and transitions I still need, and then spend time each day in November adding a little. No, most likely not the 50,000 words in 30 days/1,700-some-odd words per day - but something.

I'm not saying it will be easy, and it will be the first time trying something like this since Elianna was born. But she's very good at playing on her own, looking at books, even going potty on her own now. In fact, I've been strongly leaning toward converting the downstairs diaper changing station back into a desk. It's in the room that she mostly plays in, so it would be a good place for me to work while she plays, rather than coming up to my office (which is a MESS*) and either trying to keep her from messing with stuff, or keeping an ear out for her while she's across the hall in her room. (Though, honestly, we could probably try her hanging out in her room - she can keep herself occupied with books for quite a while, like someone else I know.)

*Yes, I could clean it. But right now my time limitations are "clean OR write" and I really need to get back to the latter.

July? You Lie...

What, July already? How?

So the last couple months I have been working on my platform and, as so often happens when I'm working on something aside from simply creating, it's taking longer than I thought it would. But I've gotten a lot done and I'm pleased with what all I've accomplished. I also realize that "working on my platform" is less something that will have an end point, and more something that will always, to some extent, be a work in progress.

But, to date, I have made an extensive list of goals, and have been working with a graphic designer on new imagery for my website and social media. I'm hoping to unveil that soon, but we're still working on some of it. I have also revamped my social media posting schedule (if you also follow me on Facebook, you will have seen that page being more active lately).

So with a good amount of my platform work either done or under way, I'm shifting gears slightly... or adding gears. I don't know much about gears - I don't write steampunk ; )

For July (and the next few months as well, probably) I'll be splitting time between the platform work and getting back into creative work. I'll re-examine what I'm working on in August or September - July is shaping up to be busy, and Elianna's preschool starts back up in mid-August. For now, I'm going to plan to spend part of my writing time each week working on either submitting (which is what I'm working on after I post this actually), getting my brain back into The Wolf and the Sheath, or creating new material.

So keep an eye out - hopefully I will continue filling your feed with fun and interesting stuff!

May Maintenance

Hello readers! Just a quick monthly update for you.

As you have probably seen from my past two posts, I'm spending some time working on my online presence, and will continue to do so for the month of May. During the month of April I've collecting some feedback*, working on planning and drafting, playing with some software to make visuals the same across all platforms (or potential platforms).

*And, hey, it's not too late if you want to participate! https://www.iveyink.com/blog/2021/4/17/feedback-needed

As usual, I struggle with finding the time. Most of what I do is done while Elianna is at preschool - which, once you take out transit to and from; and lunch prep, eating, and cleanup - is really only about an hour and half twice a week. That's a good amount of time each day to get stuff down if you really buckle down and focus (and if you know what you're doing, *cough* color customizing *cough*) - but three hours a week is not a lot of time to build/rebuild a-multi-platform online presence.

Granted, Jason and I are working on trying to find more time for me - time on weekends that he can watch Elianna, seeing how independently Elianna can play while I work, etc. But if you're wondering, "Hey, there are graphic designers that can do in a couple days what you're allowing two months for"... well, that's why.

And that doesn't mean that I'm not doing anything creative at all. I am always thinking about one of my projects. In fact, on Wednesday I was having a discussion with someone about The Wolf and the Sheath and what it's about. I'm hoping to be able to get back to focusing on the creative part of the craft this summer. But with Elianna's school almost out and scheduling shifting up, I'm not going to try to guess right now what my work time is going to be like then.

The Shortest Month

February being the shortest month - and for a couple years in a row it was also the month we had doggy drama going on - I have historically not gotten much done in February. But not so this month! Yay!

First, to address my progress on goals:

-I've stuck well to my writing schedule, with the exception of the week that Elianna's school was out for mid-winter break. (Though that week we did have our physical therapy appointment, so that gave me a free chunk of time one afternoon, which I did make use of.)

-I have submitted two stories for publication, putting me 2/3 of the way to my goal of tree submissions by the end of March.

-This will be my third weekly blog post this month. I did miss a week, and another week I did what was mainly a rehash of an old post. So not stellar.

-While I have not put much thought into what long project to work on next, I did write a new short story this month.

Not part of my goals, but also progress worth noting - I'm starting to get my motivation back. I've been struggling with my motivation to write for probably two solid years now. Two years ago, we found out that Baldur had terminal cancer, so that, of course, killed my motivation to do anything but spend time with him. And of course having a newborn, and then post-partum depression is not conducive to getting things done. I'm also starting to notice that, while winter's lack of light didn't used to affect me, it seems to now. Don't know if this is an age thing, but I've felt very unmotivated this winter, even when Elianna's been in school and after the holiday rush was over. But now that the weather is improving, the days are getting longer... it seems like my motivation is ticking up, so that's good.

In addition to the afore-mentioned short story, I've been thinking about other pieces more, too. Just in the past two days I've gone into great detail with two friends about four stories I'm wanting to write (some longer than others). Just talking about it, getting their feelings and feedback has made me feel good, and made me want to do more. I'm also constantly jotting down notes for a fifth - new - story. (Technically it's not new - I took elements I liked from a problem story and combined them with a new idea that I didn't have a whole plot for, and now I think I have a good, solid plot with much better character dynamics.)

So, that's what I'm up to. What have you crammed into your shortest month?

January's Almost Over?

Hello, readers!

True to my goals that I posted on New Year's Eve [ https://www.iveyink.com/blog/2020/12/31/goals-for-2021 ], here's my first monthly project update for 2021. Since I had some setbacks and schedule changes, I don't have anything big to talk about and instead will simply go down my goal list and talk about my progress:

-Get back into my writing schedule - Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday mornings. Starting this coming week (January 3).

As I said above, I had some issues to iron out with the schedule. I had chosen the times I did due to Elianna's schedule. She used to have physical therapy on Monday mornings, but we've since adjusted that to every-other Wednesday afternoon. That's fine for the Wednesdays that she does have her appointment - there's no difference between sitting in the car and writing on Monday morning and doing the same on Wednesday afternoon. But losing one day a week (which I shouldn't complain about, she's come a long way), I feel like I need to find another hour-ish slot during the week, and I haven't really sorted that out yet.

I also chose Tuesday and Thursday mornings because Elianna is in school those mornings. But, as I posted about here [ https://www.iveyink.com/blog/2021/1/12/confessions-judgement-and-accountability ], her school was closed for two weeks due to staffing shortages, so I missed out on some of that time. I was able to make up some of it - Jason was off on Martin Luther King Day, so I took some time that day while he watched Elianna, and there was at least one time I was able to get some things done while she was napping. (Unfortunately, she's never had a clockwork nap schedule. Some days - like school and PT days - she can USUALLY be relied on to take a long nap in the afternoon... but not always. Sometimes I just lose writing time and don't get a chance to make it up.)

-Submit either one story to at least three publications, or at least three stories to one publication each by the end of March.

Right now, I have two flash pieces I'm having a group of beta readers look at as I consider a contest for them. I'm also looking into other submission possibilities.

-Resume my weekly blog schedule.

-But within the first couple weeks of the year, examine my current writing schedule and see if I want to move which day I do my blog. (I currently am "supposed" to be posting a blog every weekend, but that hasn't happened in a while.)

Even with the scheduling setbacks above, I've been able to make a blog post every week since New Year's. While they are not precisely weekly (a post each weekend) like I used to do, I've found that typing a post when I have a topic in mind, rather than forcing inspiration on Sunday night seems to be working better for me.

-Resume my monthly project/status updates. Consider this the first. Check!

Woot, here it is!

-Finish rereading Bright Fire by the end of January.

Done!

-By the time I finish the above, decide what work I want to do next on The Wolf and the Sheath.

Today I was going to decide on either something to do with Wolf and Sheath or something to do with one of the two other novels... but between not sleeping well last night and a much needed phone call from a dear friend, I didn't work on writing today (except for finalizing this blog). But, thinking about it off and on yesterday and today, it also occurred to me that maybe for February I should focus on the submissions. This way, I can not spread myself too thin or take on too much while I'm still kind of trying to get back into the swing of my writing schedule.

So, all things considered, I'm doing really well with my goals so far. Sometime in February or March, as I tie up the February submissions and March goals, I'll take a look at how I'd doing and feeling and think about goals for the next few months after that.

Goals for 2021

So, first of all, I don't make resolutions anymore; I make goals.

People joke about how quickly they're going to stop trying for their resolutions. To call something a "resolution" is almost to expect it to fail. So I make goals. A term I've come across recently is "SMART" goals - specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-based.

What, specifically, is your goal? (The bridge guardian squawks, "WHAT...is your quest?") It doesn't have to be big, but it does have to be clear. "Be healthier." How? Eat less? Choose low fat foods? Exercise more? How do you specifically define success for this goal, this idea?

How do you measure it? X fewer calories per day? Y more minutes of exercise?

And, really, it has to be something you can do. "I'm going to go to the Olympics for sprinting!" Not achievable for most of us. Running a marathon is also probably not achievable for most of us, honestly. "Increase the amount of time I spend running by five minutes each day," or "run five miles a day by July" is a much better goal - by both measurability and achievability.

And that last line takes us to time-based (yes, skipping relevant for now). How long are you giving yourself to reach your goal? Rome wasn't built in a day. But neither did the builders of the Colosseum say, "eh, I'll get it done one of these days." You have to give yourself a timeline. Adjust it later if you need to. To use one of the above examples, I definitely couldn't run - or even walk - a marathon any time soon. But, I could probably work up to walking or running five miles a day if I gave myself a six or twelve month timeline.

And then there's relevance. You need to make sure your goals are relevant to you. Why are you doing this? "I want to be healthier 'cause my doctor says so," is not a good goal. "I want to lose 20 pounds so I will feel more confident," or "I want to be able to run a marathon because my friend Jim runs marathons and I think it would be fun to do that with him" are better. You're not going to work toward this goal if it doesn't resonate with you.

So what are my goals for this year? Not running, despite using that as an example ; )

I have a few goals I've been kicking around. I've honestly only been thinking about these very recently. I've been meaning to "get back into writing" for a while... but that's vague and not SMART. So here are the goals I've cobbled out as of today:

-Get back into my writing schedule - Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday mornings. Starting this coming week (January 3).

-Submit either one story to at least three publications, or at least three stories to one publication each by the end of March. (See? Time-based.)

-Resume my weekly blog schedule.

-But within the first couple weeks of the year, examine my current writing schedule and see if I want to move which day I do my blog. (I currently am "supposed" to be posting a blog every weekend, but that hasn't happened in a while.)

-Resume my monthly project/status updates. Consider this the first. Check!

-Finish rereading Bright Fire by the end of January.

-By the time I finish the above, decide what work I want to do next on The Wolf and the Sheath.

What are your goals for 2021?

Dreaming of the Dearly Departed

I had a rough day yesterday.  It actually started the night before:

-I had a bad headache (allergies).

-My back was bothering me (stupid unsupportive slippers).

-I was mentally exhausted from trying to keep up with all the COVID-19 news.

-I had restless dreams.

-My head was still bothering me when I woke up.

-I went to the store and while I was able to get everything we really needed, seeing so many things still out of stock - especially being short on things in the baby aisle - it took a lot of effort to calm myself down and not start just snatching things I didn't really need in a panic.

-I got home to find that a delivery I had been expecting - that I had made plans for the week around and that had already been delayed - was wrong.  

And then I kind of said, "screw it."  I cracked open a coke and ate a large Reese's egg that I had meant to save for a special occasion and went in search of cute animal videos on Facebook.  (Puppies at the aquarium - heck yeah!)  In scrolling - intentionally scrolling past serious news stories - I came across a humorous post a friend of mine made about how to prepare for a tornado warning.  It was a twelve step list in which every other instruction was "gather up cat."  I got a good laugh from it.

A big part of why it made me laugh was because it reminded me of the time when I had been alone at my parents house during a tornado warning and had to gather up our panicking Maltese and our stubborn cat and get them both to shelter.  Fortunately, each of them weighed less than twelve pounds and I was able scoop one up on each arm and schlep them to the closet.

Miso

Did I mention that part of why I had a bad morning was because a memory came up on Facebook reminding me that today was the day Miso, the aforementioned cat - died?  While I hadn't exactly forgotten, I hadn't really thought about the date because the year he died, it was Holy Week.  He died on Wednesday.  When we buried him, I couldn't help but think of the upcoming Resurrection on Sunday.

And, at some point after that, I had a dream.  I dreamed that one morning, three days after Miso had died, that I was standing in the kitchen looking out to the blooming ornamental cherry trees where we had buried him - and there he was, poking his head up out of the ground, shaking the dirt off his ears.  In the dream, the neighbors just accepted this - we had a cat who had died and came back after three days and they were all cool with it.  

Murphy

Similarly, long after our little Maltese died, I had a dream that Jason and I were visiting his parents.  In the dream, we pulled up in front of their house and Jason's dad was waiting for us.  He seemed a little confused as he greeted us and said, "Uh, Lizzy, I found something that I think is yours."  He stepped away from the door of the garage, and Murphy came running out.  She was covered in dirt, as though she also had been buried and dug her way back out.  But it was a happy dream - we were all excited to see her.  (The really odd thing about this dream is that I met Jason, and therefore his parents, after Murphy died.  This dream may have even been many years later.)

Baldur

And of course, this week is bringing us very close to the anniversary of Baldur's death.  I've been thinking about him a lot lately.  But remembering these dreams I also remembered a dream of Jason's from after Baldur died.  It was really beautiful - rather than try to reproduce it, I'll link to the blog where I go into detail about it: 

https://www.iveyink.com/blog/2019/4/20/death-rebirth-and-rebuilding 

Yesterday was a tough day.  This week has been a tough week.  Things are going to get tougher.  But days like today it helps to remember my sweet fuzzies.  It also helps to remember that the story I've been working on - that I mention here and here on this blog - is a story of rebuilding. 

Searching for the Silver Lining

Depending on where you are, you may have experienced a sudden jump in how you and/or your community are preparing for or dealing with the coronavirus.  Because I'm really bad keeping up with my to-do lists lately, this morning when I went to update my to-do list for the week, I saw that on my list for last Monday was "ask [friend] about getting together for lunch."  I didn't get around to asking... and at this point I won't.  I actually had a couple friends I was going to email about getting together to grab lunch and catch up, but that's now on the back burner indefinitely.

In addition to not having gotten much of my to-do list done, I also haven't gotten much writing done.  The Wolf and the Sheath, as well as my other partial novels, sits as unfinished as it was in July when I had Elianna.  I've been thinking a lot about it this week, though.  The story begins not long after a an outbreak (Small Pox, though it's not referred to as such in-story) has died down and societies have started rebuilding.

When I first started the book, an embarrassingly large number of years ago, I just kind of slapped that setting on it.  In November of 2018, when I went back in during NaNoWriMo to actually do some serious work on it, I started thinking more practically of things like the recovery process.  What is the harvest like now?  What kind of shortages (or surpluses) are there?  Did some areas of society lose people disproportionately, or was it across the board?  I had thought, and even worried, that having lived in a comfortable place and time where we hadn't ever had a major outbreak that I might not be able to understand and write this world.  Oops...

I'm not saying I'm glad that this pandemic is going on - of course I'm not saying that.  But as we start to see the number of cases take a sharp turn upward, I personally find that looking for the positive, the silver lining in this very dark storm cloud, is something is something that we can - and should - do to help keep our spirits up.

I am actually going to reread through a few of those newer scenes, where I address some of those issues (rather than the older ones where I just slapped a "post-pox" label on it and moved on), maybe see how dealing with the looming threat of a major disease affects how they read now.  I actually would like to take one of these scenes, workshop it a bit to stand on its own, and post it on my My Works page*.  We'll see if I can get that done in a timely manner.

*Normally, I don't post unfinished pieces, as that can affect their ability to be published later, but small excerpts from full novels are usually considered to be a small enough percentage of the story that publishers don't mind.

But back to the search for the silver lining... 

Jason and I are actually very fortunate.  His work is such that it can be done remotely (indeed, he already worked from home two days a week).  His company's decision that everyone will work from home at least until April 17 is no hardship. 

I had been planning on starting taking Elianna to story times at the library since before Christmas, but something always got in the way.  Now Elianna has not, in fact, visited my former coworkers in Cobb County (which has one of the highest number of cases in the state).  

We stock up on paper goods and soap regularly at Costco, and everything else when it's BOGO at Publix.  When we started seeing shortages in stores, and recommendations to start preparing to spend and extended period of time self-isolating, we were not caught up short, unable to find what we need.

Despite the worry, despite the fear, it turns out I have a lot of silver linings.  Do you have a silver lining?  Maybe yours is that you didn't really want to go to that conference, or now you have more time to snuggle your dog during the day. 

Find your silver lining.

Na No... Uh Oh

Hello, readers!

As those of you who have followed this blog for a while know, I always post about what my plans are for NaNoWriMo*. And as those of you who have read my last few updates may have guessed by now, since I have a 3-month-old baby, I am not planning to do much.

It's weird to say that. I first started doing NanNo 10 years ago, and most years since I've done something, even if it's not straight pounding out 50,000 words for a new novel. In fact part of why I haven't always just straight up done NaNo is because I started a novel 10 years ago... and still have yet to finish it. I don't need to be writing 50,000 more words for a novel that will take me another decade to finish.

Last year, I wrote almost every day, adding scenes that needed to be written to my still-in-progress novel from 2009 (more on that here: https://www.iveyink.com/blog/2018/10/30/lets-go-wri-mo and here: https://www.iveyink.com/blog/2018/11/30/you-go-wri-mo ). I wrote 31 pages of new material last November, and then wrote a little more in February before Baldur got sick. And, between Baldur and preparing for Elianna this year, I never got all of that new material inserted into the main document. I haven't done any work on The Wolf and the Sheath in probably 4 or 5 months. And, honestly, I have very little expectation of my ability to get any substantial work done on it before the end of the year. It pains me to say that.

When I started The Wolf and the Sheath, it never occurred to me that I wouldn't have finished it in 10 years. But a lot has happened in my life since 2009. I was living with my parents and working 2 or 3 part-time jobs (that didn't add up to 40 hours a week). I hadn't met my husband yet, and so we obviously didn't have our dogs or our baby. And yes, I know there are people out there who write while working full time and/or taking care of their kids. And maybe I will eventually get to the point where I can write and take care of Elianna and the house - but it will not be before Friday.

But I shouldn't be discouraged - my sister recently finished writing her first novel. It took her 10 years, during which time she has not only been teaching full-time, but also earned her master' degree. It can be done. Just not right now.

So what am I going to do instead? Well, I never did finish rereading all the new material I wrote earlier this year, so I'm at least going to try to do that. Check back in late November or early December to see how it goes.

*If you're not familiar with the abbreviation, NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel-Writing Month, which takes place annually in November. Writers challenge themselves to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. It's not as hard as it sounds - it breaks down to about 1700 words a day, which is just a couple pages. The hard part is not writing 50,000 words - the hard part is actually finishing the novel after November ends.

What I Got Done in June

Well, as many of you noticed, I did not post my July plans (more on that in my previous post: https://www.iveyink.com/blog/2019/7/3/irony ) at the end of June/beginning of July like I normally do.

My update of what I got done in June is... pretty much nothing. I wrote a few hundred words for Wolf and Sheath, and I've been working on "writing" a couple other stories in my head the past couple weeks. But with all the stuff we still have to do to get ready for the baby, I wasn't expecting to get a lot done (though, honestly, I was kinda of hoping to do a little more than I have).

My plans for July (now that we're already a week in and I've done nothing) are pretty much the same for June - do what I can, if I have time (which, again, may not be much).

I know that once she's born I most likely won't have the time or mental energy to work on anything for a few months. I submitted a flash fiction piece to a magazine a couple months ago and in my cover letter joked that flash fiction might be the only media whose scope lines up with my time since I'm expecting my first baby in August. I just found out this week the story didn't get accepted, so, while that's disappointing, that also opens up the ability to submit it elsewhere, as this magazine doesn't accept simultaneous submissions.

So, what else? I'd like to think that now that Jason and I should have all our baby prep nailed down within the next few days that maybe I'll find the time to work on stuff again... But I'm also to the point in the pregnancy where she really could come any time, and when she does all bets are off.

For the meantime, I will at least keep trying to do my weekly blog post and writerly quote... but if the next time I miss one or both, it's possible that means that we have a new arrival : )

Mayday, Mayday!

Well, y'all, it's May. And it's been a while since I've posted project goals or updates.

Of course, if you've been following this blog, you'll know why the 2nd half of February, and then March and April went out the window, so I won't go into that again.

Last week I finally decided to start getting back into it. I started rereading The Wolf and the Sheath, to get my head back to where it was before the omelet hit the fan. (Yes, I'm stealing that phrase from Some Like it Hot.) I had written a decent amount of new material in early February and some of it I hadn't even reread yet, so some of this reread is to re-immerse myself in the world of the story, and some of it honestly is to say "what the heck did I write three months ago?"

I also looked into some submission possibilities and submitted one of my stories to a literary magazine, so we'll see if that goes anywhere. I got back two rejections during my downtime, which was really rough - not because when I sent them out I said, "this is it! This is a perfect fit for this story," but because I already had so much bad news coming at me it would have been nice to have a win.

So for May... I guess for May I go back to getting my head in the game. I may not write quite as much as the schedule I planned at the beginning of the year. At six months pregnant, I'm not sleeping well (not that I slept well when I wasn't pregnant) and we still have a boatload of stuff to do to get ready for our little girl. My evenings are full and my bedtime is creeping earlier. I need to remember to take the time to meditate, especially the next few weeks as work stress is peaking. Plus now that it's getting hotter, we usually wait 'til after dark to take Athena for a walk. So the 2-2.5 hours I used to be able to get in most writing evenings are shrinking - in the past week and a half or so that I've been trying to get back into it, I think two hours has been my best, and a couple nights it's been closer to 1.

But with a baby on the way, I know that in a few months I will look back on this time and say, "Oh, wow, I had so much time I had back then!"

The Dog Days of February

Well, guys, I somehow missed making my beginning of the month project update for February - by the time I realized this, I figured I might as well wait for March!

My goals for January were to "get my head back in the game" after Christmas, and to do better about sticking to my new schedule. I was very good about sticking to only writing "business" on Mondays - writing-related social media, researching places to submit, etc. Wednesdays and Fridays, without the distraction of "ooh, I wonder if anyone has clicked on my last post," I was able to get a good chunk of things done. Jason and I had a few occasions where we went out and did things on Wednesday or Friday nights and I was very good about making up the time I missed some other evening.

I also submitted two different stories over the past month and a half. That actually doesn't sound like much, but I've been more judicious about making sure the places I'm submitting to are good fits, looking for places that offer payment without also having to shell out a lot of money to enter a contest, etc.

I wrote a lot of new material for The Wolf and the Sheath in the first couple weeks of February - some of this was to go complete or transition between recent material that I wrote in November, and some of it was completely new. The main document now stands at over 60,000 words, and that's not including probably 10,000 words from the secondary document that I (mostly) wrote in November that still need to be copy/pasted in, and maybe 2,000-5,000 more little snippets in various other places.

But that was all before mid-February. The last thing I worked on that was writing related was to submit a story on Feb. 18. That was the night that we realized that Baldur was more than just "under the weather," and I have not had either the time or the emotional energy to work on anything since then. (For more on what's been going on with my boy, see my previous post: https://www.iveyink.com/blog/2019/2/24/baldurs-saga ).

As of the typing of this, we are still waiting on his biopsy results and I am just physically and emotionally exhausted.

But with that said, I have probably been more productive this February than last February. I don't remember getting a lot done early last February (for some reason last year, it took me a long time to get back into the swing of things after Christmas). Then, again in mid-February, we adopted Athena. The first month or so that we had her, she needed near-constant supervision and also had some separation anxiety, meaning that Jason and I pretty much alternated nights of who had a trembling doggy on their lap. (She has improved so much you guys, I can't even tell you.)

As of the 18th, my plans for March were to stay the course. I was starting to think I might actually be able to have a complete rough draft of Wolf and Sheath before Jason and I have our first (human) baby in August. But, depending on what happens with Baldur, I may dial back writing time in order to spend more time with him. There's a lot that is very much up in the air right now.

How is it that the shortest month always has so much crammed into it?

A Plan for Jan!

(January, that is...)

So even though I posted by big list of goals for the year this weekend, I neglected to talk about what I'm doing right now, for January.

The plan for January is to get my head back in the game.

You might recall in my post about my December plans that I said I didn't expect to get a lot done that month. We'll, I may have given myself a little too much slack for a busy month - I got nothing writing-related done (unless you count my weekly quotes).

So for January, I'm going to work back on getting into my routine (a little about that schedule in the previous post). I'm going to update and reorganize my to do lists, reread my new material for The Wolf and the Sheath, and decide if I'm going to continue working on W and S for the next few months.

Let's Go Wri Mo!

Hello, readers! It's time for both my end of the month update, and to announce my plans for NaNoWriMo*.

For the month of October, I focused on looking at various submission opportunities, and to a lesser extent, posting anecdotes from my trip. I've found various places I'm going to keep an eye on for submissions - though neither of the 3 stories I have ready at them moment will work for them due to either the style not suiting them or that they don't accept simultaneous submissions (one of those pieces is currently being considered by another competition).

For November, I will be "participating" in NaNoWriMo, but not in the normal sense. NaNoWriMo 2009, I started a novel that I've referred to on this blog several times. (Working title is The Wolf and the Sheath.) 9 years later, I still haven't finished it. I have lists of things that need to be done, including scenes that still need to be written. So for NaNoWriMo this year, I am going to write at least one new scene for W and S every day. I've worked on it off and on this past year, and often find myself getting bogged down by research and trying to nail down details like place names. I'm hoping a concentrated daily effort to create new material will get me ramped back up again to make some actual real progress on it so that I can finish it before another 9 years rolls around : )

*If you're not familiar with the abbreviation, NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel-Writing Month, which takes place annually in November. Writers challenge themselves to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. It's not as hard as it sounds - it breaks down to about 1700 words a day, which is just a couple pages. The hard part is not writing 50,000 words - the hard part is actually finishing it.

Oh Say Can You See My Plans for July?

Can you?  'Cause I'm not sure what they are either.

I have spent the last month continuing to work on name research and replacement.  It's taking me longer than it should.  Partly, this is due to the depth of research that I'm doing due to some irrational fear that I will miss the "perfect" name for what are, at this point, important, but not the most major characters (having named all of the major characters already).  I actually am close to being done with this; I think I only have one left that requires the more in depth process I'm doing.  For the other minor characters that have yet to be named I can probably just pull something from the lists I've already created.  Until I write more and need more names, ha!

And that last part brings me to why, even though what I have been doing is important, it feels like I haven't done much.  The Wolf and the Sheath still stands at the 51,729 word mark, where it was in late April.  I have not written any new material since then.  (This doesn't mean I have writers block; I have plenty of scenes I need to write and know pretty much what I am going to do for them.  I just got to the point where I said, "I'm past 50,000 words; I need to finalize these names.")

It also occurred to me within the past couple days that I'm going to have a lot going on in September, and to a lesser extent, August.  I may very well not get much, if anything done, on W & S these months.  (I'm not saying I'm going to intentionally not work on it, just that I know my realistic limitations and I'm not going to set myself up to be disappointed at not meeting an unrealistic goal.)  

I keep thinking that these months are SO far away, SO down the road that I hadn't thought much about them.  But tomorrow, is July 1, meaning that August and September really are just around the corner.  Looking now at what I will have occupying my time during that period, I think I may take a break from W & S completely (aside from writing brilliant scenes that come to me in the shower, 'cause that's what I do) and work on some smaller projects.  

I actually have a couple projects in mind for September.  One of them is that I will return to something I did a few years ago and post a bog entry for each day of Banned Books Week (at the end of September); actual posts, not reposting the same thing I posted two years ago.  I will probably write them ahead of time; the whole reason why I was reposting BBW blog posts last year is that it actually takes a lot of work to write a blog post every day.  I have another project in mind, too, but y'all will have to wait a little while to hear more about that one.

I think for August I will work on small projects; polishing or finishing existing short stories, or creating new ones.  I've been thinking a lot recently about how I need to start working, really working, using my writing.  I need to start submitting my pieces to places where I will get paid more than a contributor's copy.  I do want to eventually be able to work "full time" as a writer (by "full time," I mean that that would be my primary source of income).  At the rate I'm going, that's some time in the far-flung future.  And, yes, I need to finish writing my books.  But with all but one of my complete short stories published, I also don't have anything to submit to paid publications right now.  I need to find a better balance on that front.

So, what does this have to do with July?  For July, I will finish my name research and replacing (that might even happen this week).  I will then do a full reread, making sure that all the names have switched out properly.  (I only trust find/replace so much.)  I will slot in names off my list I've been compiling as I research for those minor characters who need it, so Lady X and the cook can actually have a name.  We'll see where that gets me in July.  If I have time, I will commit all those brilliant shower scenes to the page.  But I will also prepare to put the story away for a while.  I've been "working" on Wolf and Sheath (some months more steadfastly than others) since November, and it may be that I just need to step away and refresh my creativity a bit.  I also have one more writing contest I definitely want to enter that opens tommorow.

So this July 4th I will be celebrating my independence from an indefinite timeline and "to do" list and see if maybe that helps jump start myself some.

May Project Update

How is it that tomorrow is June 1st?  It seems like yesterday was May 1st...

I've spent this month wrapped up in name research.  As some of you may recall, my current project, The Wolf and the Sheath, is a novel I started writing during NaNoWriMo, lo, these many years ago.  When you're trying to squeeze 50,000 words into 30 days, you don't take time to do name research - you throw down a place holder and move on.  

But now here we are, coming up on 9 years in, and I still have place holder names for most of my characters.  And some of these are acceptable names; probably no one but me cares that Finn, Konstantin, and Markus aren't from the right linguistic background for these characters.  But I can't keep calling the antagonist "Whatshisname."

So after how satisfying it felt to pin down names for the major locations, I decided to completely change gears and focus solely on name research and replacement.  Now because this is a quasi-fantasy/quasi-historical piece, you would think I could just make stuff up.  But for me, I like to ground characters' names in real-world languages.  And because I'm... well... me, these names have to mean something or have some significance.  And as I've said it previous posts, they also have to be something that the audience will find relatively easy to remember, pronounce, and spell.  (Though I have actually given one character a name that is somewhat awkward intentionally, to put the reader slightly off balance with him.  But he's had his name for a while...)

Could I not do that?  Could I just slap Bob, Jim, and Steve on these characters and move on? Well, no, actually, I couldn't.  They don't suit the characters or the world.  Could I do this if I were writing a modern piece?  Well, actually, no on that one, too : )  Even the modern pieces (what few I have written) have some symbolism in the names.  Not as much research goes into it, but I do think about the meanings of names even in modern settings.  

So what did I do in June?  I sorted through a mind-numbing amount of research for names.  But I also named the main character's brothers and father, the most important secondary character, decided on how all these people say "mom" and "dad," and am very close to choosing the name of another major place.

And I'm not saying that every character is getting this level or research; the cook who gets referenced once is not going to be given the name of an obscure Serbian goddess of baking that it takes me hours to sort out.  The cook could be Hilda.  Except that I already have a Hilda.