family — Blog — Ivey Ink

I had a bad day Friday. Not really any particular reason why - I was just in a crummy mood. Everything was pissing me off. It was just little things - nothing important - but I just kept getting mad.

I tried to think about things with a different perspective. It helped some, but in thinking about these things differently, I came up with this blog post.

Toddler Troubles

Friday morning did not start off well. My two-and-a-half year old woke up, called for help, and then when I went into her room to help her, she screamed in my ear.

We were both in a cranky mood, so rather than deal with her, I let her watch her new favorite show, "Little Baby Bum." This means that I had the most obnoxious kids' songs stuck in my head all day.

Did I mention she's two? We're solidly into the terrible twos and she was defiant all day long - didn't want to eat, didn't want to nap, wouldn't pick up her toys, wouldn't go potty when I asked her to...

But... I started thinking about Ukraine.

I woke up in my nice warm bed, with my husband and my dog, and my daughter down the hall. We were together and we were safe. There are families in Ukraine who wake up cold and uncomfortable from sleeping on the floor in a basement or underground train station. There are families who have been separated. There are families who have lost a pet, parent, or child.

Even though Elianna and I were both cranky, I could easily turn on the TV to entertain her. I can't imagine what you do with a cranky toddler in a bunker. I have stupid songs about going to the doctor stuck in my head; but it's not air raid sirens, or the throbbing silence after an explosion too close by.

Elianna didn't want to nap, or eat, or go to the potty. But we have plenty of food, a safe place to sleep, and plumbing. I can't even imagine how you would deal with a recently-potty-trained child while fleeing a war zone.

We are fortunate.

Doggie Downers

Athena pooped on the floor Friday morning. She hasn't done that since Elianna was a newborn. She also was obviously in some kind of mood - she kept whining at me, but didn't want to go outside (or at least didn't want to stay for more than 30 seconds).

But... we have a safe place to take our dog out to the bathroom. What do you do with a dog in a bomb shelter? They go in a corner, I guess.

When Athena is antsy, I can snuggle on the couch with her or play with her - usually she just wants attention. What do you do for a dog who is in a strange place with too many other people and animals, while the thuds and reverberations of bombs and gunfire peirce the night?

We are fortunate.

Waistline Woes

I've gained a lot of weight since "the holidays." A lot of my pants are way too tight now. This fact was not helped by my lunch on Friday, which made me quite gassy.

I had a load of previously-mentioned too-tight pants in the wash... and the stupid detergent pod didn't disolve. So I had to run it again. And then AGAIN.

Finally, at the end of a long, frustrating day, having decided I didn't care about trying to eat healthy, I went out and bought ice cream to eat with Jason while we watched a movie.

But... I have a closet full of clothes (and, if need be, I have access to amazon and Kohl's). Many Ukrainian families have had to flee with only what they can carry. How many pairs of pants do they have - two? One?

I have access to fresh, healthy vegetables... and when said vegetables make me gassy, I have Gas X and ginger ale on hand, too. What are the Ukrainians sheltering from the bombs eating - MREs? What happens when their stomachs are upset?

I have a washer and dryer and detergent. I have a closet full of clean clothes... or, at least, I-spilled-some-juice-on-this-I-should-wash-it clothes. My clothes are not covered with mud from a long trek to the border, or smoke and concrete dust... or blood.

And I can get in my car and drive on my nice safe road to the grocery store and buy myself comfort food for a treat. When will these poor people see ice cream again? When will their roads be repaired? When will they feel safe again?

And speaking of "the holidays," we aren't that far out from Passover and Orthodox Easter. Will there be a ceasefire, truce, treaty by then? Or will Ukrainians still be trapped, their holidays lit not by candles, but by molotov cocktails and building fires?

We are very fortunate.

I don't often post about current events on here, and I usually don't try to take on a heavy-handed "be thankful for what you have" message... but I felt like this needed to be said.

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Wow, December already? November just flew by... which is odd, because SO much happened in November. It seemed like one of us was always sick - sinus infections and COVID boosters for the adults, colds and pinkeye for Elianna. Fun. Add Thanksgiving to that mix and... well, who decided November was a good month for NaNoWriMo, huh?

So, first I'll talk about what I did in November, and then I'll launch into my goals for December and January.

In an attempt to kick myself into gear a bit, I decided to do a modified National Novel Writing Month challenge in November. My goal was not to write a new novel, but rather to try and crank out new material I need to flesh out Brinyor, one of my current novels. My intent was to write every day and, even thought many days I only managed about 20-30 minutes after Elianna had gone to bed in the evening, the first 2.5-3 weeks of the month I did pretty well. But, the week of Thanksgiving, everything kind of fell apart at once. To twist a line from Ian Malcom, "life, uh, gets in the way."

I knew I would be unlikely to write on Thanksgiving itself... but I also wasn't expecting people to get sick, Elianna to take a big step back in night potty training and/or willingness to go to sleep (cold, pinkeye, picking up on our stress? possibly also teething - I mean, that'll do it). She's gotten very defiant about naps as well and, as we speak, is sleeping on the floor on the opposite side of the room from her bed because she likes her play blanket and giant stuffed corgi and, well, Jason and I are tired of fighting with her at 4 AM. Two-year-olds, man.

But, yes, less griping, more progress reports. I managed to write a little over 17,000 words for Brinyor in November, in addition to spending some time working on my platform (including my newly-added Twitter. I even submitted a story to a podcast.

So, on to my December goals, which are... really low-balling it. Honestly, between holiday prep and Elianna being out of school for two weeks, I'm going to cut myself a lot of slack. If I can keep my current writing and social media schedule,* reread what I wrote in November, and start inserting it into the main body of the novel, I'll be happy.

*-Writerly quote of the week, plus business - social media, platform work, submission research - on Monday

-Work on my monthly goal while Elianna is at school on Tuesday

--Writing prompt of the week (alternating weeks) on Wednesday

-Work on my monthly goal while Elianna is at school, and alternating Throwback Thursdays on Thursday.

-Blog each weekend (unless I've done it earlier in the week)

-Alternating weekends to really focus on writing.

In fact, I have so little faith in having time to write this month, that the above goal is actually going to be my January goal, too. More of a six-week goal (because I know I'll be pretty useless the latter half of December) than a monthly goal.